A. Lie
I fell in love with a boy
& I've not been the same since

"I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once."

"Is this what it’s like to go crazy? She’d never imagined it like this – when she’d thought of someone (a woman like herself) losing her mind, she’d imagined shrieks and wails, hallucinations; but at that moment it had seemed clear that there was another way, far quieter; a way that was numb and hopeless, flat, so much so that an emotion as strong as sorrow would have been a relief."

"Life is pain! I wake up every morning, I’m in pain. I go to work in pain. You know how many times I wanted to just give up? How many times I thought about ending it?"

"You assume that I’m fine, but you don’t know how to read between the lines. I swim from moody to callous to giddy and humorous in naught point-one second. That’s not because I’m easy going or feeling guilty for being off hand with you. It’s lack of confidence and self-esteem. It’s trying to fit in and trying to hide the scars at the same time. Maybe I’m doing a good job and that’s why you don’t see."

"There is something between us but it’s not real. It’s the past. It’s a moment in time where we both were once. A moment that meant a lot to us then, a time we’ve both often wished we could revisit, but I think maybe that’s only because our lives now aren’t going the way we want them to, not because we still have feelings for each other."